Far through a lonely way

Way of truth lies beautifully

There ahead your eyes, fighters

Yet, way of truth

Will not remain calm

There are testaments arriving to measure

And also traps strangling the prey

Will feet be strong enough to keep walking

When thorns share them pain

Will eyes haze the view

For dusty wind that blows them

Dreaming  joys in the struggling

Is like longing for clean moon on the noon

The way is not so lovely as imagined

Base is faraway behind, yet reach not destination either

.:: suci sekeping hati - saujana ::.

If  i worship You due to my fear from Your Jahanam,

then please throw me into it.

If  i worship You due to hoping Your Firdaus,

then please exile me from it.

Yet, if i worship You due to my love to You,

so let it be Your solely love i win.”

Often may have we heard such maxim allegedly said from Rabi’ah Al Adawiyah.  To be real, we have never met the true track nor history whether such maxim was really recited by her. There is not any sanad nor trusted narrators proving the word. The truth is far fetched from the publicly approved hadits. Being fear to Allah does not always mean becoming a disgraced slave.  Neither, hoping to win Firdaus too much does not always mean becoming a greedy trader. Neither, being one always chasing His love does not reveal one’s noble.

Syaikhul Islam, Ibnu Taimiyah, ever dispersed marvelous lesson to us. He said that fearing from Allah solely will make one a KHAWARIJ,  loving Allah solely will make one a ZINDIQ, and hoping to Allah solely will make one a MURJI’. All should unite in a mu’min’s believe. Clinging to one principle while abandoning the others will bring him astray.

Love, fear, and hope are trinity that keeps our belief alive. How hard it will be, we now have clear clue how to behave in our faith.

I caught Bangunkarta train to reach Jakarta. First step on the floor, the business classed train welcomed me with no seats left. I had to ground again. I set my sit near to the train ferrule, allowing people passing by over me again and again. “hwuff, it gonna be long tiring way!!”.

While leaning on the wagon wall, i saw a man sitting right on the mouth of the train door. He wore unfamiliar branded dress. Simple dark jacket and lousy sandal covered him. I could see that a notebook was kept inside his bag designed to contain stationeries only. Cigarette often filled his mouth since the first i saw him. He behaved very ordinary.

Another passenger came to him and had chit-chat to kill the boredom. I was surprised. the ordinary man shared many astonishing experiences. He was graduate from Pesantren Tebu Ireng, Jombang. Yet, he had many times infiltrated many Bank secured site systems. Not seldom had he transfered amount of Rupiah to his account. He ever defaced the official Malaysia web site as the respond of Malaysia’s trial to disturb Indonesia territory. he worked not alone. Many friends who has such skill are located abroad the nation. In Batam, Makasar, Surabaya, and many more. Once, he were caught by police men. He become in town captive during months with periodical report obligatory. Yet, he never stopped adventuring the virtual crime. Sooner he traveled to Malaysia to meet the invitation from certain vendor to test spammer program. In fact, it was a trap set by criminal group to slave him and another invitee for building program designed to infiltrate security of target system. He and his friend could manage to escape after deceiving guards. Both returned to Indonesia with almost no fund at all. Only dress they wore were left. Now, after married, he has stopped practicing the cyber crime and works as admin in Ciputra group.

It was fascinating to listen to his story. Amazing. Precious value does not always show lovely view. Such a lesson.

True love is when you drop tears
and still sympathy her,
even when she does not care you
and you are still waiting for her faithfully.
Is when she starts to love another, yet you can still smile,
and say, “I’m happy for you”,
If your love does not meet hers, free yourself,
let your heart return into the wild again.
You may be aware,
that you ever found a love then loss it,
but when love is no longer alive, you do not need to die with it,
happy people are not ones always winning their wishes,
but ones that keep rising after their fall,
somehow in the journey of life,
you learn more about yourself,
and realize that there should be no regrets,
your love will remain in her heart as an eternal reward,
for choices of life you’ve chosen,
A true friend understands when you say “I forgot ..”,
waits forever when you say “Wait a minute ..”
remains staying when you say “Leave me alone ..”
opens the door even if you have not knocked and said not yet “May I come in? ..”

Love is not how you abandon her when she makes a mistake,
but how you forgive,
Is not how you listen,
but how you understand,
is not what you see,
but what you feel,
is not how you let her go, but how you keep her aside,
there may be time coming where you have to stop loving someone,
not because she stops loving us, but because we realize that she will be happier if we let her go.
Sometimes, person loving you the most is one never expressing it to you,

for fear you will turn around and give the distance,
and when he has gone,
you will realize that he is the love that you do not realize.

(Khalil Gibran)

He was still young and full of enticing dreams. He wanted to have well sustained life, explore many interesting foreign places out there, win his dream woman, and live in better place. But the reality said contrary. He must stay in remote nasty site. So, he made his decision. He would abolish his mother then left her alone for his dream.

All were planned. He took his mother on his back then went outside. He traced the route in the woods that he had never passed before. He indeed managed to walk along the unknown path as far as possible such that his mother would not recognize way back to home. The old woman, whom as long as the lifetime, he had sought love and protection to, knew what his only son wanted to do. Yet, she let it be and did not complain at all. She realized that she would have been burden all the time. During the way, the old mother always plucked leaves she could grab from trees aside. Then, she scattered them onto the land. Again and again. The son wondered why his mother did that. But he kept silent and continued walking. “Hmmhh….”, he sighed. His walk had been very far and he himself couldn’t even figure out where he was then. He was sure that the old  mother would not be able to return home alone. At last, before he took her down and left her away, he asked, ”Mother, why have you plucked and scattered all leaves onto ground during the way?” She, having known that she would have been abandoned there, replied,” My son, those leaves will bring you home safely.” The young man was shocked. He could not bear his tear flow from his eyes. He cried of having been very stupid and forgotten all his mother’s love and kindness. He then returned home. Still, the old mother was being on his back.